Caitie-pillar

Do you ever feel like you need to go into an ugly phase for a while only to emerge as a better, badder version of yourself? Well I do… especially when I am getting ready for something like a vacation and usually around this time of year. I almost want to send a mass email out to all my friends, family, and my boyfriend letting them know I am going to start looking real crappy the next few weeks, maybe even a month, only to undergo a metamorphosis.

This usually occurs in the winter months, prior to a beach vacation. Post-Christmas, I am usually already heading down the “looking crappy” path. My hair is dried out from bleaching it with highlights all last year so I dye it back to a more natural, darker color. My skin is has its own unknown agenda. It is oily and extra pale in some places, dry and cracking in others. My body is weak and out of shape. I have usually had at least two colds by this time, maybe strep. I stopped working out when it started getting colder and started eating more and more ravioli pizza slices. I am wearing sweats almost every non-work day and I only have the urge to buy fuzzy socks and sweatshirts when I am shopping. I come home from work and immediately default to “couch-mode”. I go to the liquor store, not a yoga class or for a run. That is a lie. I don’t even go to the liquor store anymore. Now I order everything on apps like drizly or minibar. I don’t even physically walk to buy my 1.5L bottle of Pinot Grigio. All I want to do is watch movies, eat, sleep, binge a TV series, and go out to eat and drink. And then…

I realize my warm-weather vacation is only 9 weeks away and I need to start going into caterpillar mode. But I don’t just go into a cocoon and come out looking like Beyonce. I must work for it! I stop using heat on my hair unless I really need to. I deep condition and try not to wash it too many days a week. I stop trying to cover up my blotchy winter skin with make up and let it breathe. I force myself to exfoliate and I lotion my dry skin after I shower. I keep wearing sweats and fuzzy socks and watching movies but I try to lose the pinot and the pizza. I start eating healthy and trying not to drink unless it is a planned night out/event. I force myself to work out and aim to do better than the last time I forced myself to work out.

And then after all that, I hopefully emerge a beautiful, toned, healthy-haired butterfly… or at least a better looking and feeling caterpillar than before… And I go on my beach vacation and have a fabulous time. And then in a few months when summer is near, I do it all again but better! Or at least I try to and trying is really all that matters…

 

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